The disparaging report of Remmius Palaemon in Suet. DGR 23 contains his own seemingly absurd vainglorious dicta and a contemporary vis-à-vis joke aimed at his sexual appetites. The first cannot be as pointless as they seem given the great authority of Palaemon as a scholar and the second is textually unsatisfying, and thus not quite clear. The present study tries to improve on both, uncovering the actual witticism of Palaemon’s words in the first case as well as the real meaning of his opponent’s pun in the second. Thus, it turns out that behind the repulsive portrait drawn by Suetonius hides a much more sympathetic and less depraved personality.