This article presents a psychological analysis with elements of a cultural and historical review of the origins of codependent relationships that are common in Russia and the former Soviet Union. The author describes the process of forming the most common personal characteristics of participants in such relationships. The mechanisms of identification with the aggressor, which contribute to the acceptance of the features of the person who showed aggression against him, are considered. The article also focuses on the processes of maintaining the existence of family myth and codependency: manipulation, violation of psychological "borders" and establishment of control. In conclusion are given some examples of how the manipulations practiced by parents today may have made reasonable sense in the past.